New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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