the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
