I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My dick has a subreddit
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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