i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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