eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
