check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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