I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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