why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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