Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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