There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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