Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
