nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
