He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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