with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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