THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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