I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
