I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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