we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
