To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
