i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
