Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i've created a new STD.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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