Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
