Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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