there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
