so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
