He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
