do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
