On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
