Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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