Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
