So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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