The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
