bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
