You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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