my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
