My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
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