So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
