Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
