u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
