If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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