listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
