shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
