3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't think brook has ever known best
he shaved USA in his pubs
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
