We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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