nut hugger
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
