She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
