Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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