I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
