The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
