I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
